Pregnancy

Pregnancy for the most part has been good to me. With my first, I took the term “eating for two” a little to heart, more than I should have. I packed on the pounds with my daughter. I walked 3-5 miles daily, but still gained a ton of weight throughout the whole 9 months. I was informed by the doctor I couldn’t run because I had a hemorrhage, which really was depressing as I am a by one definition a runner. Running is my release, my happy drug, my stress reliever. I wasn’t sick one bit with my first child. I was in heaven after hearing so many stories of women being sick the entire way through. I was very unhappy with my body, but knew that a diet while being pregnant was out of the question. So I decided I had to live with my mistakes and I could fix it once I had my beautiful baby girl. I look back on pictures now of when I was pregnant with her and think “what the hell?! How did I let myself gain that much weight?!” I went from 135 (pre-pregnancy) to 180 (I think-full term). It was bad. After I had my daughter, I breastfed for 6 months which helped me lose some of the weight; I got down to I think 140 or so. I stopped breastfeeding because my husband and I wanted to have another baby so bad we tried while I was breastfeeding but couldn’t get pregnant. We had seen how wonderful our daughter was and wanted another little bundle of joy. I stopped breastfeeding in July and was pregnant in October. Needless to say, I am one fertile lady!
 

Now when they say pregnancies are never the same, they are different for every woman and every child; they are 100% correct! I was sick as a dog for 17 full weeks with my second. I think it had to do with all of the extra testosterone in my body. So I didn’t gain much weight for the first 4 months. I was on medication to help with the sickness which knocked my butt out; it was so hard to take care of my little one while hanging over the toilet night and day. The sickness finally subsided and I started feeling so much better AND gaining weight! Then I started showing! I had learned my lesson with my first that “eating for two” did not mean DOUBLING your food. With either child, I didn’t crave sweets, in fact thinking about them made me sick to my stomach; which was a blessing because I have a horrible sweet tooth. I craved fruits and veggies all of the time. I gained about 30 pounds this time around, which is a healthy amount to gain. And the doctor was happy, so I was happy. After having my son, who was (and still is) an eating machine. I was breastfeeding and did for a year. The weight just started shedding off. I had c-sections with both, so I was out of commission for 6 weeks after. I wasn’t doing anything to lose the weight for those 6 weeks and I lost a good 15-20 pounds!! I was thrilled!! I continued to breastfeed and feed my body nothing but good stuff so that he would get all of the nutrients. My weight just kept dropping. I then became active again; and even more came off! I thought I was dreaming. By the end of the year, I was down to 120. I hadn’t weighed that less since high school. I was so proud of my hard work, my sexy body, ESPECIALLY after TWO kids!!!

And now with my third, it was a mixture of both. We had just decided we would wait another 3-4 years for another baby. My husband was really wanting another one and right away. I on the other hand wanted to enjoy my new body, financially better our lives, I wanted to enjoy our two kids, let them get a little older, more independent before we brought another baby in the world. We went to Target one night, I had been extremely tired the past few days and just didn’t feel right. I bought a pregnancy test just for the hell of it. Got home, tinkled on it and watched the two lines appear and the tears started pouring down. We weren’t ready, I wasn’t ready. I cried and cried, I didn’t know what we were going to do with another child; I love my children dearly, but they are seriously a handful and to bring another one home!? I was pretty sick for the first few weeks, but nowhere near as bad as what it was with my son. To me, I feel like I have gotten a lot bigger. I know the more children you have the faster you show because everything is stretched out, it’s like your body knows what to do now and it is way ahead of the game. My husband keeps telling me what I’m seeing in the mirror is completely different to what everyone is seeing. He explained it in a great way last night, he told me I was so used to seeing my body being small, and now I am pregnant and yes things are going to change, but I am nowhere even close to the size I was with my first. It made me feel better, but it is just so hard sometimes. To look in the mirror and see all of the hard work dwindling away. He’s worried that I’ll resent this baby for changing my body. I told him he was crazy. I know, this one is our last and I’ll have the rest of my life to get back in shape. But I explained it to him like this, all of his hard work on his body lately (which he has lost 17 pounds in 2 months, his clothes are almost falling off-he looks fine as hell ;)) if something happened and all of the hard work went down the drain and there was nothing he could do about it, he would be upset too. I am doing everything in my power, running, lifting weights still, walking a ton, eating right and drinking tons of water and it still seems the weight just keeps coming at me. I am trying not to be hard on myself, I want to enjoy every second of this pregnancy. I want to enjoy the miracle God has given us. It’s a work in progress and I’m getting there. I’m doing everything right so that’s all that matters. I have the rest of my life to get my body back. I won’t ever get to enjoy another pregnancy again, which I LOVE being pregnant. Some women hate it and can’t wait for it be over, but I really truly enjoy it.

I wanted to share my pregnancy stories because it’s nice to hear another woman’s perspective and to know you’re not the only one who is having a difficult time mentally or with eating or losing the baby weight. No, losing the baby weight is not the most important thing, but to me feeling sexy when I look in the mirror, feeling healthy is a lot. Because when I don’t, I’m not myself and therefore I don’t feel like a good mother or wife. And having all of the extra baby weight (on myself) I don’t feel or look sexy. Yes, you should enjoy every single second of you baby’s life, because they are only small for so long. Time goes by quickly and you’re going to wish you spent more time staring at those sweet sleeping faces and gummy smiles instead of worrying about fitting into your skinnies. Want to be healthy and fit, but don’t let it take over who you are. Easier said than done, and I need to work on taking some of my own advice, I know.